Dear Mom

Tears are rising, Sun is setting, That picture of us at your wedding, Staring at me in the face, Reminding me of what we once had. You look at me, But then turn away, I know you are angry, And I know that you are ashamed. I guess I let you down mom, I’m sorry to say, I guess we’re not close anymore, Only because of that tragic day. When all hell broke loose, And you said the worse, Those words haunt me like a curse. Only if you knew the tears I’ve cried, Those sleepless nights even though I tried. My heart pounds, You are calling, To yell or scream? To tell me that I’m no longer me? You say hello, In that stern voice you have, I choke up, I knew this was going to be bad. Please don’t yell at me, Please don’t scream, Please just wake me from this horrible dream. I lye there at night thinking of all the possibilities, Why can’t I think of any! Why cant I just figure a way out of this stupid mess! I do tell you I must confess, I haven’t been trying my very best. You let me down too, Leaving me on the porch feeling numb, Feeling broken and just gone. You’ve cut me deep, Deeper than ever before, I guess now you have the higher score, On who is worse. Oh how I hate this freaking curse, The curse of this family, And all our disfunctionalness, Our lives have been everything but bliss. I guess your right mom, You don’t know me, Because I have changed honestly. I know what is best for me now, I’m not just a pawn in your little scheme, To seem better then all human beings. I’ll never forget those tears I’ve cried, Or those sunsets all those nights. Those pictures will not fade in my mind.