Deafening Silence
Laying on the couch, the bed pulled out
I hear his footsteps within the night
Tiptoeing quietly so as not to wake the house
Wondering should my response be fight or flight
I see his shadow in the moonlit room
His sickness permeates every one of my senses
I lay in perspiration as I silently talk to God
Thinking why I couldn’t have a life of white picket fences
I beg God to lead him back to his wife
All I want to do is sleep the night away
I need for the morning to quickly approach
Because I never have to worry during the day
He stands over me and tells me to “Take ‘em off”
And every single night, I do as I am told
Every night my bed starts off snug and warm
Then he comes by and makes it dirty and cold
He gets in between and does nasty things
And all I can do is whimper in the silence
He always gives me the most unwelcome gifts
Every single time he graces me with his presence
The confusion is thick as my body responds
And he begins to get even more excited
He forces me on all fours, totally against my will
I think he gets off from being uninvited
He grunts hard after each painful thrust
I pray to the Lord wishing He would take me from this
I do anything to get my mind off of this moment
Like reminiscing on a time when I possessed innocence
Time takes its time; the clock barely moves
I wonder when tonight’s torture will finally end
My question was answered when my bed stops shaking
Then he thanks me and hugs me as if I were his friend
He goes back to his wife as if nothing ever happened
My mother who is oblivious to his nightly sin
Who can I talk to? Who could I depend on with my secret?
That I have sex with my father daily and I’m only 10?
Copyright © Constance Gilmore | Year Posted 2012
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