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Daydreamer

Enthralled by mystic notions Lights on, but no one there Her spirit within the oceans Challenging reality’s square Four corners could never keep her Safe and sound inside Too much, a daytime dreamer To stay within the lines Not a sound was heard by others Still, she swayed with grace Her thoughts became her lovers Adorning an abandoned place

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Date: 4/29/2018 9:08:00 PM
"Inside" does not rhyme with "lines'; consider, "Where safe and sound assigns"?
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Anna Hopper
Date: 4/30/2018 8:02:00 PM
Thanks for the feedback and yes, your version sounds lovely. I was not looking for a perfect rhyme though. Just a nice flow.

Book: Shattered Sighs