Juli- Michelle Poet Rhyme

Daunting

We spoke once of our ending life
But never thought of it more until we found
Haunting, daunting, flaunting around;
Shadows dancing before our eyes,
Laughing as they planned my demise.
Passing you with smiles, they settle upon me
Passing you un-subliminally
To kill me?
But the kiss they leave upon my cheek
Withers with a simple slither,
A mark of death? My knees grow wiltingly weak.
And the stupor of silence you speak of is amiss
In the daunting, dark abyss 
We've heard of since we were children.
We’re frozen.
In the darkening clouds, before the darkening sun
We know it’s begun
When the raven cucaws behind us.

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Richard Lamoureux March 8, 2014 at 9:41 AM I felt blanketed by the sadness. A fery effective piece.

Justin Bordner March 7, 2014 at 1:32 PM Sometimes I feel the need to stand in the center of the Storm and rage upwards just because I can, accepting Fate with a 'rebel yell'. I love the dire feeling in this mature write Juli. J.A.B.

Sandy Ivy D March 7, 2014 at 3:18 AM deep. write, tough subject. Sandy

Russell Sivey March 6, 2014 at 11:41 PM Wow, what a chilling tale of death, the sadness of its arrival and it's total grip on you as it approaches! Yes I just love the image of the raven, as it is the harbinger of death! What a grandiose poem this is my friend! Great Work!!

Poet Tacito March 6, 2014 at 11:03 PM This almost had me thinking about that old movie, "The Crow". Very atmospheric & melancholic in its lines. Nicely done!

Poet Destroyer A March 6, 2014 at 9:28 PM Hello Juli- this is very deep. The first line, had me grip, I'm glad the raven was a sign. It's a dark feeling when stuck in the abyss. No telling what the voices in there are up too... Amazing write. You are very good with rhyme and flow... Thank you for the nice welcome home... Linda