Cutting the Cheese

It was time for our annual cookout That's when my wife asked me please "If you get the time and you don't mind, Could I ask you to please cut the cheese?" I have to admit I was puzzled I couldn't imagine what she means So that's when I went to the kitchen And opened me up some beans By the time I was finished The people started to amass My wife said, "It's time to get started, Would you please pass the gas?" So off I went to get some more beans By now I was getting pretty full Trying to figure out who would be first To offer my finger to pull By the time I got back it had started But it ended in minutes to my shame I burned down half of the city I was standing too close to the flame