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Cursed

I am like a cigarette waiting to be burnt out
My eyes are waiting for a drought 
My heart wants to burst 
But sadly I am cursed 

To not feel any emotional attachment 
Ever since I was a kid those feelings have been absent 
I would love to feel again 
But I can’t find anything to gain 

I am just a man 
With no plan 
To fix my tormented heart 
I would rather for it to be ripped apart 

My whole life I have been plagued 
By these memories that can’t seem to fade 
I could never find a cure 
To make my heart pure 

My heart is pandora's box 
Everyone always gives it a shot 
To get it opened 
But you can’t open what is already broken

You don’t want to love me 
I will not fill your heart with glee
I will only fill it with pain 
My heart is impossible to tame

I feel so cold 
These feelings are getting old 
I am always so sad 
I always feel bad 

I don’t want to care 
Life isn’t fair 
My life is a war 
I’m stuck on the floor 

Crying an ocean
I don’t want to feel emotion 
My heart feels sick
I am always everyone’s last pick 

I'm lost in a forest of doom and gloom oom 
I need to find my way out soon
I am drowning in a sea of tears 
I am consumed by my childhood fears

I never had time to play 
I just wanted to run away 
From the black cloud 
And every big crowd 

I am scared to be alone 
I am scared that I will get kicked out of this fake home 
I need a better place to go 
Let's go on with the show 

I was forced to grow 
I was in more pain than you will ever know 
Ever since I was a kid I was tackling obstacles
Solving my problems back then wasn’t possible 

I still can’t solve em 
Its problem after problem 
They just keep piling up like tear soaked tissues 
And empty bottles of booze 

I would make bad choices to attempt to feel better 
I used to be kind of a beggar 
I used to get abuse a lot of things to feel faded 
I was addicted to getting wasted 

I started out with depression 
I soon got to memory suppression 
Then all of my problems fell into place 
I turned into a basket case

Copyright © Sad Boi | Year Posted 2021

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