Cowboy Conversation With Barkeep

Charley my wheel horse says that Jim is a yack, always jawing now. They are both scrunchers, they nearly swallow their teeth on chow. Jim is unsalted, but not lazy or slow, although he has trail dust grime. He always responds well to “all hands and the cook” and in good time. When the Mexican vaquero joins us, there is back slapping sure. That’s when the biscuit roller trades in biscuits for tortillas, pure. A ballyhoo? I do not think so, Bar dog. Can I get a John barley corn? I would like to drink the cattle drive off my spurs, until it be morn. How much does it cost to stay in the dice house tonight? Don’t want to be honey-fuggled, so no Kansas sheep dip, all right? a fresh mail order cowboy just entered the saloon, of course. Don’t want to be a nosy parker, but did he just dismount the iron horse? Did you see where I put my gelding smacker? I sleep with it naturally. I am no lapper, but I could go for another John Barley Corn from thee. Texas cakewalk tomorrow? Hmmm I wish I could stay but I am dragg’n. Say hello to my cousin Sam, he drives the county’s meat wagon. I kind of like a good hang’n when there’s a well-deserved California collar. Was they horse thieves or murderers or what? Hey give my horse a holler. I thought I saw a Cottonwood blossom when I rode into this place. But there was no hellaballoo, so I wondered if it was the case.