Home » Poems » Olusegun Arowolo » Country Side

Country Side

Country side...
lightning flashes
bring down rain.

strong wind blows
fruits and leaves falling...
cyclone speaks.

 




Category:gyooji    season:aki

naturehaiku

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Debbie Guzzi

November 28, 2011 at 3:48 PM

Aro one thing that I can see which held you back is the use of capitals & periods, one reason a haiku does not use periods is that the intent is for it too be only a moments insight..not a complete thought or a complete story...poets wrote haiku before and after anothers writes many time in long, long strings of verse. Also, you have the cyclone speaking this is in your mind that the roar sounds like speech to you..you are making a judgement try to stay factual OBJECTIVE...Congrad's & SOUP Mail

Carol Sunshine Brown

November 28, 2011 at 10:50 AM

Congratulations on your win in Charles' "Short Short Haiku" contest Olusegun. Love, Carol

Gwendolen Song

November 27, 2011 at 10:43 PM

Hi Olusequn...I like how the cyclone got everyone's attention at the end of your double haiku. Very nice use of alliteration, friend. It spoke volumes to me. Gwendolen