Chasing a False Happy

I want to see you smile, Just like you did that day. The light that had shone from your eyes, Wish it hadn't gone away. To see you laugh aloud, As though the world was a good place. Your aura bright and loud, And happy beaming from your face. The problem though - it was the source, The spark that fueled your fire. The reason for your happiness, Has consequence so dire. For i am not the reason That your heart had felt so full. The substance running through your veins Never leaves you feeling dull. Why can't I ever recreate The smile i saw that night? I'm happy that you're happy, But the reason isn't right. Why can't I ever lift you up, To feel that sense of high. I'd do anything this world asked, Love, i promise that i try. I feel so low cause i can't seem To lift you to the clouds, Cause if could I'd make damn sure You'd never come back down. I can't pretend however, That i don't know what or why. See I too am familiar With this happiness and high. I guess for now- since we're both down We're both in this together. We're trapped in happy lies, Until our false happy is severed. I guess the fear we both hold, Is finding happy without help. Amphetamines to catch our dreams, Till we can chase our dreams ourselves.