Catnip

joyful cat purrs 
she awaits the masters hand
satisfied at last

addictionhaiku

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Andrea Dietrich

February 19, 2016 at 5:30 PM

and the other side of the coin!!!

Debbie Guzzi

February 19, 2016 at 9:28 AM

I can tell you if it IS a haiku- I myself don't think I do a particularly GOOD haiku. Line 1 you would not use the word joyful in a haiku because you are supposed to be SHOWING not telling & if we were just writing anything it is best not to SHOW & TELL, if you have shown the is no need to tell- when you sat the cat purrs - you are SHOWING joy - no need to tell-

Debbie Guzzi

February 19, 2016 at 9:34 AM

also cause & affect does not make for a surprise in the fragmented line - we all know a cat purrs when petted [ the cat purrs-loose hair floats through the sunlight: dog behind the couch] if I had said I sneeze - it would not be a surprise - it would be cause & affect- with the line -dog behind the couch- the reader is a bit surprised, thinking what happened?

Debbie Guzzi

February 19, 2016 at 9:28 AM

#2 the whole thing is written around the idea that you know what the cat is thinking [you don't-it's a subjective assumption] in its most simple sense haiku is a sensory observation leading to an emotional response.

Catnip

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