Home » Poems » Jan Allison » Broken Hearted Monoku

Jan Allison - Premium Member

Notes About The Poem

Broken Hearted Monoku

Why is it called ECSTASY – your two friends lie in a mortuary.

I wrote this poem for my son who was devastated after the death of his two schoolfriends, it is dedicated to the memory of brothers Jacques and Torin Lakeman aged 19 and 20 who were found dead  2nd December - gone but always in my heart.

3rd December 2014

Copyright © Jan Allison | Year Posted 2014

heartbrokenmonoku

♡Like0

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

1

March 5, 2016 at 2:16 PM

Horrible Reality... my sympathy for you there. There is a gypsy town behind my forest- have seen many spoiled, ruined lives, passing my home towards injected ecstasy spot.. made me never want to try even "innocent" ones, seeing how it looks in the end. These 2 lines touched my heart personally, remembered 2 orphan boys my parents took long ago- one died, another got both legs amputated, so young- both due to alcohol, another "Deceptive Happiness in ignorance"

March 5, 2016 at 6:09 PM

I wrote this the day after we learned that my son's friends had died from suspected drugs related incident - so heartbreaking brothers aged 19 and 20:-( Two young lives blown away :-( hugs jan xx

Poet Destroyer A

January 6, 2016 at 10:55 PM

Jan, you are very good with this form. I'm reading a few. Your poems have inspired me to run A Monoku contest. HUGS. LINDA

March 5, 2016 at 6:08 PM

Thanks Linda sorry i missed your comment before:-( hugs jan xx

March 3, 2015 at 5:14 PM

Jan i have know idea what a monoku poem is but i love how u wrote this. The feeling of loss, anger, relief, shock rolls all into the grief process of losing someone that was very dear to ur heart. I too so understand this Monoku poem more than anyone when it comes to death. Hugs back to u, Angela xx <3 xx

March 5, 2016 at 6:07 PM

I hope and pray your son gets the help he needs:-) hugs Jan xx

March 3, 2015 at 6:11 PM

How sad it is with the younger generation these days when it comes to drinking or doing drugs. My youngest son age 20 is living in a homeless shelter and doing drug rehab right now :( after his father died he just lost it and spiralled downward after that. he lives now in west virginia in that shelter. i have no way of helping him but he really needs to do things on his own and get his life together. I am so sorry for ur son's friends. my heart goes out to u, ur son, and their families. gently hugs, angela

March 3, 2015 at 5:18 PM

My sons 2 friends (brothers) died in December - it is suspected their deaths were drugs related:-( Hugs jan xx

Richard Lamoureux

December 14, 2014 at 9:26 AM

Hugs and prayers back to you Jan!

December 14, 2014 at 9:27 AM

Thanks Richard:-) Hugs Jan xx

Richard Lamoureux

December 13, 2014 at 10:10 AM

Dropping back to see how you and your son are doing. Hugs and prayers.

December 14, 2014 at 3:52 AM

He went to the funeral I am so so proud of him for doing that Richard and it gave him a little closure. Thanks for caring :-) Hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

December 6, 2014 at 12:19 AM

soupmail

December 6, 2014 at 3:30 AM

Thanks:-) Hugs jan x

December 5, 2014 at 9:58 AM

so powerful Jan. thank you. x x x

December 5, 2014 at 10:32 AM

Sadly it's true and so heartbreaking:-( Hugs jan xx

December 4, 2014 at 10:27 AM

First place brilliant, and a fav.

December 4, 2014 at 4:37 PM

Thanks my friend it wont go in the contest - makes me so so sad to think about what has happened i got really teary today when i saw their pictures:-( I'm ok now:-) Hugs jan xxx

December 4, 2014 at 6:56 AM

Sad one..Sara

December 4, 2014 at 8:58 AM

The reality is devastating Sara:-( hugs Jan x

December 4, 2014 at 5:00 AM

I can relate so well to this Jan, the police found my brother dead in his car from an oxycotin overdose. Luckily they revived him but he's been in and out of rehab ever since. So much said in so few words, blessings Carl

December 4, 2014 at 5:53 AM

Oh Carl that is so sad but a blessing he was found and is now receiving help:-) Hugs jan xx

December 4, 2014 at 4:45 AM

Thought provoking for sure

December 4, 2014 at 5:52 AM

Thanks Jerry:-) Hugs jan xx

Dr. Upma A. Sharma

December 4, 2014 at 4:01 AM

Power of words my friend is what u truly have ! gl in contest Jan!

December 4, 2014 at 4:33 AM

I wont enter it in the contest Dr Sharma of the reality of it is too painful as it is a real event in our life:-( Hugs Jan x

December 3, 2014 at 5:49 PM

Wow...Jan...just saw that your powerful Monoku is based on fact. You captured the chilling, horrible truth in these few words...sorry that the truth had to really impact on you and your family and the family of the lost young men. Hugs, Sandra

December 3, 2014 at 5:54 PM

yesterday was devastating Sandra guess its now sinking in:-( Hugs jan xxx

Richard Lamoureux

December 3, 2014 at 4:02 PM

I am so sorry to hear that. My condolences to you and the family.

December 3, 2014 at 4:05 PM

It's so so so sad Richard the community is devastated - 2 young lives that will never be fulfilled - I wrote a poem called frozen in time - I may post it one day:-( hugs jan x

Andrea Dietrich

December 3, 2014 at 3:57 PM

wow, GREAT impact with this one. Good for you, Jan!!!

December 3, 2014 at 4:00 PM

It just came to me last night Andrea and I had to get the sadness out of my system - think it packs a punch! Hugs Jan xx

Richard Lamoureux

December 3, 2014 at 3:20 PM

This is a clever play on words. I hope this is a fictional write. I know it is true for someone, drugs are so prevelant nowdays.

December 3, 2014 at 3:23 PM

sadly its true Richard - I removed the comment I'd made as the cause of death has not been fully ascertained but it would appear to be drugs related but 2 brothers aged 19 and 20 lost their lives on Monday - i had to break the news to my son yesterday they were school friends of his - its the hardest thing I've ever had to do as a mother :-( Hugs jan xx

December 3, 2014 at 1:56 PM

Heartfelt write Jan..

December 3, 2014 at 1:57 PM

Thanks Ken - thought it was the ideal form for this - so few words say so much:-( Hugs jan xx

Brenda Meier-Hans

December 3, 2014 at 1:16 PM

Why???? My heart breaks for you, your son and his friends family.I will fav this and show it to my son and hopefully this great poem can go far.

December 3, 2014 at 1:19 PM

If it makes one person sit up and take notice Brenda - guess we need to highlight the issue more and tragedies like this can only make people more aware:-( Am feeling brighter today was in bits last night:-) hugs jan xx

December 3, 2014 at 11:54 AM

An unenviable task, Jan. God bless them both. Amen. j.

December 3, 2014 at 1:05 PM

such a tragic event:-) Hugs jan xx

Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty

December 3, 2014 at 10:56 AM

Sad sad..ECSTASY is a criminal misnomer..terrible. Great monoku. Love Jan XXXX rajat

December 3, 2014 at 11:11 AM

Thanks Rajat:-) Hugs Jan xx

December 3, 2014 at 10:50 AM

you are right, jan.. those pills are not real ecstasy... saddened by this tragedy.. nonetheless, great job!.. huggs

December 3, 2014 at 10:53 AM

I agree Nette - the name belies their danger:-) Hugs jan xx

Shadow Hamilton

December 3, 2014 at 10:28 AM

how terrible Jan my heart goes out to you all hugs

December 3, 2014 at 10:43 AM

mine goes out to the family shadow:-( Hugs jan x

December 3, 2014 at 8:40 AM

Jan, my heart goes out to you and your family -- Your poem has a powerful message -- Evil masquerading as light seducing the unwary and then pouncing in death. Tears and hugs.

December 3, 2014 at 8:42 AM

Its affected the whole community David - such a tragic end to 2 young lives. Will have an impact here forever:-( Hugs Jan xx

December 3, 2014 at 8:30 AM

So sorry and sad, I hope you and your loved ones can feel better soon with the peace of the season.

December 3, 2014 at 8:34 AM

It has hit us all hard Dan - think reality is sinking in:-( Hugs Jan xxx

Demetrios Trifiatis

December 3, 2014 at 5:36 AM

Condemned by destiny to announce such a calamity! God bless their souls and give courage to your son. I have been in that predicament many a time!BLISSFUL SOULS: At death's wondrous gate/ Immortality, awaits/ Blissful souls laughing!/ © Demetrios Trifiatis 27 SEPTEMBER 2014 God bless you dear, Jan! Hugs!

December 3, 2014 at 5:45 AM

thanks Demetrios:-) Hugs Jan x

1

Get a Premium Membership

Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.

Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace