Shivani Kundu Poet Prose Poetry

Born to Be a Villain Of Your Story?

Explanations become complaints. I know you didn't mean to make me feel like this — but there was no other way you ever made me feel. That's why I was never able to differentiate between the summer and monsoon of your mood, because they all were tough.

The cliff was never safe. It doesn't guarantee your well-being — you never know when they'll push you off. For a while, they treat you like a journey partner, until they reach their destination. Then, sooner or later, they push you away too.

I lived in the moment I was in — the present, with nowhere else to be. The separation was full of unlearning the insecurity and learning myself anew — the lies you told me about myself, the burden you gave me, fell from that cliff too.

Only two kinds of people react when they see you cry: the ones who love you enough that they can't bear to see you like that, and the ones who can't stand being the reason for your state.

Is unconditional love a truth, or just a tale from utopia — something we were told as children so we'd know what to look for, even if we were never meant to find it? Maybe it's neither. Maybe it's a question you keep asking every time someone new almost answers it, and doesn't.

Maybe it's my fault, for being confused. I thought it was understanding between us, but you wanted me to accept the blame you placed on me, while never once calling it a blame game. Guess you were dying to create the image of a saint. Calling a cage a home doesn't make it safe to live in.

You make the rules that feel good to you. You bend them when you want. Making me the villain — but guess what, I accepted that title too, just to be with you.

Now I don't hold any expectations — that you'll appreciate the effort, that you'll text. You're not the one I keep my toes up for anymore, always checking my phone for your name.

I can keep writing like a people pleaser who ignores itself constantly — but things like this never end. It made me realize: I didn't love the cliff. I loved the falling.

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