Get Your Premium Membership

Blip

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Terry Flood.


Houston, we have a problem We’re not the first ones here Through the dust kicked up when landing I’m watching a building appear Houston calling Space Hawk You stand on virgin ground, The dust you tread was never trod No building should be found Space Hawk calling Houston Is Commander Greg Braggs near I’m entering the building That we know cannot be here Houston calling Space Hawk Commander Greg Braggs speaking Get back to your lander, Son Your mental health is creaking Space Hawk calling Houston That’s a negative; I’m in It’s like mission control up here Like NASA built a twin There’s people too but all are dead They all have I.D. tags I’m checking out the nearest one His name’s… Commander Braggs! Houston calling Space Hawk It’s situation brown It’s Eighteen Thirty hours And we’ve got to stand you down Space Hawk calling Houston You do sound quite alive But your watch says Six Thirty And mine Six Thirty Five

Copyright © | Year Posted 2022




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 10/1/2022 1:23:00 PM
i love the way you've told this story, terry! the rhyme of "i.d. tags" and "commander braggs" is delightfully unexpected and brought a huge grin to my face...
Login to Reply
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 10/1/2022 2:58:00 PM
Thanks, Ilene. I had considered momentarily that ‘Commander Braggs’ might be a little contrived (of course, in essence, it was) so I’m glad it wasn’t too obvious. I went through so many titles for this, a lot of which were based around the question, what happens at NASA when it’s 6:35 there. But when I came up with ‘Blip’, it just seemed to cover all scenarios. Glad you enjoyed. Terry
Date: 9/30/2022 1:00:00 PM
Nice yarn, Terry - I like it! Now where's Major Tom?
Login to Reply
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 9/30/2022 3:19:00 PM
Glad you got the connection, Jeff. I’d thought about a title that played on Space Oddity or Ashes to Ashes, but I could imagine so many possibilities for what was occurring (including complete sanity) that i left that conclusion to the reader. Thanks. Terry
Date: 9/30/2022 12:55:00 PM
Terry, this is an eerie story. I do hope Space Hawk has the wherewithal and the know-how to get back home! OTOH, perhaps he ought to just stay put and search for food!
Login to Reply
Flood Avatar
Terry Flood
Date: 9/30/2022 3:27:00 PM
Thanks, Milt. Actually tinkered with this for days. Wasn’t sure what I thought was going on, but I wanted it to read as though I was. Glad you enjoyed. Terry

Book: Shattered Sighs