Biggest blessing or biggest lesson?

My heart is cold. “Time is the healer of hearts” so I’ve been told. With arms crossed, and an open heart. The story unfolds. Before me lies a ditch, one that I lie in. ‘Biggest blessing or biggest lesson?’ The ditch I cry in. ‘Biggest blessing or biggest lesson?’ The ditch I confide in. ‘Biggest blessing or biggest lesson?’ The ditch I thrive in. I’m a felon in life, yet the key lays right beside me. Full of peace. Yet bulimic for disaster. My problems are dreadful and tiresome, yet I’m the crafter. The ditch still lies. This time it’s in front of my eyes. It’s deep and vast like my problems. And in the ditch I tumble, over and over. I might need a shoulder. One to cry on. One to lean on. One to lie on. But the bottom of ditch is comforting. Because when you begin to climb, your heart is still suffering. Beating to break the chains that can’t be seen. Beating to get through days you feel you can’t complete. Yet your mind is abducted. Abused by thoughts you think are corrupted. But the ditch begins to widen, you swim in the soil but it’s your problems you truly confide in. “Biggest blessing or biggest lesson?.” It’s all a lie, your problems that deplete you will never see the light. So big, yet never touch the sky. You find comfort in every cry. Every tear that plops, the redder your eyes are, the more you can’t stop. A cry for help or a simple mock. Your life isn’t a joke, yet the problems don’t stop. Casting shadows that haunt you from within. With every forceful tear you begin to sin. You want your life to end but you don’t want to give in. As this might be the “Biggest blessing or biggest lesson.” You are ever given.