Betwixt In Between My Soul

HOW DO I TURN FROM MY WICKED WAYS? I DON'T WANT TO GO ASTRAY BACK TO THOSE AWFUL DAYS BUT WOE UNTO ME IF I STAY BOUND IN THIS SIN I LAY WHATSO EVER I SOW I SHALL REAP BUT KNOWING, HOW DO I GO CALLING? CALLING FOR MY LOVER THAT'S DEAD TO MY BODY CALLING FOR DEATH TO COME TAKE ME INTO FOLLY WHY MY HEART LONG? WHAT DO IT LONG FOR? I USE TO KNOW, BUT WHAT'S TRULY THERE TRAPPED BETWEEN GOD AND MY LOVE AFFAIR HOW LONG WILL THIS LAST? HOW OFTEN WILL TEARS BE MY PAST... PRESENT AND FUTURE. MY ILLUSIONS ARE TAKING CONTROL OF ME NO MORE SECRETS CAN BOIL ON THE INSIDE OF ME I CAN'T TAKE IT, I WON'T OUT OF THIS TRAP BUT DOUBTFUL, SCARED I'LL BE BACK CRYING FOR HELP. I KNOW ANSWERS, I KNOW THE JUDGMENT I'M BETWIXT IN BETWEEN MY SOUL LIFE OR DEATH HELP ME NOT TO TURN DOWN YOUR HELP HELP ME NOT TO FALL IN HIS TRAPS I'M WEAK AND NEED YOUR STRENGTH TRAPPED IN BETWIXT LIFE OR DEATH