Behind a Curtain Somewhere

I am a master in my eyes, a master in disguise. So cleverly concealing pertinent feelings of thoughts, one's intrusive dealings, that are boiling my insides. A wizard behind a curtain, that’s how this all feels. A brick road made of corpses, with one's past life’s dealings preserved, paved and sealed. A heart, a brain, and courage are the lesser of my wants. Something I truly desire is to be free from all the standards that are expected of me. To simply have the ability to understand the world as a whole, instead of society’s pressure and expectancy of things that shine organically. I know Diamonds are produced under mass pressure brought on by their surroundings. I refuse to walk with people who claim to have hearts, when their actions show others, and their minds think in one-digit parts. I sometimes wish I could click my heels together and poof, new start. I trek on, over stones along my path. I can’t help but wonder, if someone is pressing buttons and pulling strings behind a curtain and all that, yeah. It sounds crazy when you say that out loud, but sometimes I feel that it is that, for certain somehow. All these Pictures of my life and the stories that they tell, have now become torturous memory prisons, tiny painful cells. So, I won't hope for more memories, no new energy, no thank you. In fact, I'd like it if there was a wizard behind a curtain somewhere. It is almost comforting to know for certain somebody is pulling strings, removing human beings from the remaining veil-covered livings. Yet still, our existence we squander. Aimlessly following a road shamelessly, no self-awareness, just people playing contrary-to-action games with me. I don’t want your heart that is made of stone, or your brain which is comprised of birds nesting sticks and air alone, and what you consider courage is like a rat in a tiger’s home, fear coats him and only fear alone. I am not mad at what character past plays had you cast, because honestly Your past warped acting and idea of what is, has made the brick path truth seekers take comfort in. A road to somewhere, no one really knows. A journey to a curtain way in the light, covering a being who says what goes, what is certain, and what Is right.