Backwash
I closed my mouth around the words,
felt my skeletons wash up against
the shore of a silver tongue;
Driftwood,
laying still on the bank,
charred and cracking open
inside the swallow of shameful
Determination.
“I never wanted it to be like this,
never thought it would go
…this far"
I watched your finger list its way
around an empty highball glass,
its fragility reminding us both of
the damage of throwing stones
in a house ready to shatter.
I couldn’t look you in the eyes.
Couldn’t let you see
the poison forcing its way out.
No matter, how badly I needed
to feel anchored.
I was better off;
left to drown,
than to pull you under
the waves birthed by
my lack of transparency.
"I never wanted it to be like this,
never wanted to bring you down.”
I couldn’t look you in the eyes;
as the light shined through
the gleaming vessel wrenched
in your palms,
I ordered another round,
Unable to stand the spectrum
cast, the colors of truth,
with nothing to hide.
So, I finished my beer.
Tasted the backwash cast back,
from every selfish, thoughtless
draft, and forced it down.
The amber tint of the bottle
reflected nothing;
As volatile and opaque as
the soul clinging to it.
"I have to go,
I’m sorry.”
I left the money on the bar,
hoping it was enough to sate
our demons for the night.
-James Kelley 2014, All rights reserved
Copyright © James Kelley | Year Posted 2014
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