William Kelii Kekaula Poet Villanelle

Notes About The Poem

Poetic Form: Villanelle
Inspired: 2023 December 15
Image: N/A

*Six syllables used instead of the intrinsic 10 that fails the illusionary (?) "Best List"

Back Track

Near my house in the back,
bit lost on a sidetrack,
along the grassy track.

Turned a bit to backtrack,
closer is the right tack,
near my house in the back.

Yet things went out of whack,
more lost was a setback,
along the grassy track.

I put on a soundtrack,
and I thought to kickback,
near my house in the back.

Thought of how'd I attack
then there was a throwback,
along the grassy track.

A song that I playback,
"Get right back" ... [Bleep] (wisecrack)
near my house in the back,
along the grassy track.

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Christina Bowring December 19, 2023 at 8:49 AM This is such a wonderfully constructed Villanelle dear William and what a restrictive challenge with the use of just six syllables of which you have done so well. Really impressed and great refrain lines too. Very clever. Good luck in the contest. May you have a wonderful Christmas my friend. Aloha, :):) William Kelii Kekaula December 19, 2023 at 9:49 AM Aloha, Christina. I appreciate your views regarding the limiting strategy that I put into play, however, I'm dubious about any placing because of its simplistic storyline and word usage, nonetheless, I dare to welcome that thought. Mahalo, William

Vijay Pandit December 16, 2023 at 5:43 AM This is simply awesome, my friend. Much enjoyed the tone and flow of your poem. Quite original and pleasing to read. A fabulous FAVE, William. Win BIG! William Kelii Kekaula December 16, 2023 at 5:56 AM I appreciate the optimisim, my friend, good luck to that methinks. Albeit, the Fave is a fresh welcoming, Vijay. Aloha, William