Joanna Daniel Poet Rhyme

Atmospheric Pressure

When the pressure in the atmosphere gets low,
I take in a breath deep and let it out slow,
My inbuilt barometer begins to work,
The pain in my ear surfaces with a smirk;

It is going to rain, my forecast is clear,
The drums have announced it loud, played by my ear,
Ouch! This low pressure is sure making me pay,
Keep the cotton ready, plug him out, I say;

I drink some water, grit my teeth and bear it,
It will take some time, but I shall soon be fit,
When the pressure in the atmosphere goes high,
My ear pain will be forgotten by and by.


08/29/17


(11 syllables per line)

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Phillip Garcia September 13, 2017 at 1:47 PM I dig this, Jo, very well done. It's always a pleasure to read competent rhyme from such a smooth pen like yours. As a tiny critique/suggestion in reading the 4th line I feel like "surfaces" interrupts the melodic cadence a bit (but certainly still works). After a few thorough read throughs I tried it with 3 one syllable words replacing it and it fit my ear a bit better. Something like "...comes to life with a smirk". I'm an ignorant Texan so don't stress it too much- Its wonderful as is

Andrea Dietrich September 11, 2017 at 5:54 PM Thanks for what you said on my hot summer day poem. that is what I was trying for. SUCCINCT!

Demetrios Trifiatis September 7, 2017 at 7:18 AM Delightful and informative poetic writing dear friend, Jo! No surprise it was picked a winner! Wonderfully done!

Andrea Dietrich September 6, 2017 at 5:49 PM Glad to see this won. I SURE do like it!

Roy Pett September 5, 2017 at 7:34 AM Congratulations on your well deserved win Jo, Atmospheric pressure affects the way I feel as well such as headache and lethargic, well written. :))

Subimal Sinha-Roy September 4, 2017 at 11:32 PM Congratulations for placement, Jo.

Anita Harris September 4, 2017 at 7:21 PM I have one of those inbuilt barometers, too! Congratulations on yours bringing you a nice contest placement!

Alesia Leach September 1, 2017 at 6:55 PM Very nicely written. I don't think I would like an earache every time it's going to rain. Best of luck in the contest!

Winged Warrior September 1, 2017 at 11:05 AM Great pressure on the contest Jo lol...best of luck my friend...god bless...^WW^

Gordon Mcconnell August 31, 2017 at 2:32 PM Fine write Jo, nice imagery and good thoughts portrayed. Well penned!

Nette Onclaud August 31, 2017 at 2:11 PM i hope i won't be needing a hearing aid... emotional or physical noise can be really bothersome... lovely work, jo..huggs

Connie Marcum Wong August 30, 2017 at 4:40 PM This is such a clever entry Jo! I think Shadow will love it! "It is going to rain, my forecast is clear,The drums have announced it loud, played by my ear," These lines make your poem standout brilliantly! : )

Joseph May August 30, 2017 at 3:22 PM The ear pressure forecasts the rain!..Nicely penned Jo

Probir Gupta August 30, 2017 at 12:36 AM Ha ha ha ... The atmosphere laughs too ... So nicely done ... Thank you for liking my Ripples in Water ...

Andrea Dietrich August 29, 2017 at 5:30 PM gosh, I wish I had something to say about this topic. It's one of the few I have left to attack!! And I have to do it soon. I think you did a great job basing the theme on your body reactions to changes in pressure!

Anne-Lise Andresen August 29, 2017 at 3:06 PM - Beautiful written even in pain, Jo - Luck in the contest - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Ironic Zink August 29, 2017 at 2:14 PM A deep title and a light poem that is scattered about this afternoon with clouds capable of producing cannon ball sized poetry-soup. (I hope this helps!)

Eve Roper August 29, 2017 at 11:51 AM Lovely, Jo, I thought of writing something similar... but I didn't.. Since I'm single sided hearing the pressure gets worse and the ringing is louder than the noise around me... luck in the contest... Hugs Eve

Janis Medders Tobechi August 29, 2017 at 10:14 AM Sorry to hear this. Except for your pain, I enjoyed the form, meter and rhyme. Well written and good luck in the contest.

Kim Rodrigues August 29, 2017 at 8:24 AM Enjoyed your rhyme, Jo! GL in contest!

Chris Green August 29, 2017 at 6:56 AM This is really nice Jo, kind of seems like a lot of pressure pushing down these days, but like you said, the pain will soon be forgotten.