At Times

At times I just sit and I WONDER, what is my MISSION? What is my ultimate goal or in other WORDS, what is my life’s VISIONS? At times I sit and THINK, what will people actually say about my NAME, when I no longer BLINK? What stories will be told about my LIFE, to my kids, and my kid’s KIDS, with the life I chose to LIVE? At Times I HURT! Wondering why, did God choose so MANY of my loved ones to be carried in a HEARSE. At times I pray it was I lying lifeless under a pile of DIRT. At times I PONDER, what is truly is out YONDER! At times my eyes grow TEARY. other times my body grows WEARY. At times my mood CHANGES, other times I think, the ones we call the normal, are truly STARNGE. At times I consider even myself mentally crazy and DERRANGE. At times I lie other times I ADMITT, that at times I just want to QUIT. At times I want to give back my LIFE. At times I think I would have been better off WHITE. At times I don’t know what to think at ALL. At times even I need a friend to CALL. At times I thrive for ATTENTION, other times I just want one person to LISTEN. At times I try to feel God’s PAIN. Other times my tears flow more than a day’s worth of RAIN. At times I want to call timeout from life’s GAMES. Other times I feel too EMBARASSED, holding down my head, as I walk away in SHAME. At times I even imagine myself is hell’s FLAMES. Other times I imagine literally going INSANE. At times I just want to FIGHT, other times I just want to WRITE. At times no thoughts comes to my head, so I sit at my computer, wishing I could TYPE. At times I wish I was raising a SON Other times I feel like, squeezing a trigger of a GUN! But all the time, I’m thriving in everything to be second to NONE!