Appropriate This

I was walking down to the taco joint wearing my new conical Chinese hat, I looked how it looked, it gave me some flair, but some beta-hipster took issue with that. He stalked up and said,”It’s people like you who are holding us back as a nation! Do you not realize how offensive that ? It’s cultural appropriation!” I rolled my yes and weight if I wanted to take the time now to deal with this crap, betting the fool wouldn’t have raised a fuss if I’d worn my Oktoberfest cap. But when I saw the man’s smug scowl there was no question what I would do, said,”Before we talk about my hat, we should first see the problems in you. “I see that you’re wearing denim jeans, and denim first came from fair Italy, so unless you are an Italian man you better drop them right here in the street. “And there upon you shirt, a name and a number, don’t you know our numbers are Arabic? And since you clearly are not an Arab, you’re wearing of them makes me quite sick! “And the worlds sprawled across all your clothing, spelled out in the Latin alphabet… Unless you’re Roman you shouldn’t wear that, what the hell is going on in your head? “You know now that I come to think of it, Democracy was thought up by the Greeks, as you’re not one, you shouldn’t be voting, unless insulting them is what you seek. “And don’t even think about eating corn, the First Americans invented it, it’s part of their culture, so if you care never again eat a tortilla chip! “Or you could just grow the hell on up, cultures borrow from others all the time, they’re not a straight jacket, they always adapt to the ever-changing challenge of time.” I stopped and stared at the man’s angry face, I figured even he must get the gist, instead he scowled harder somehow, cried,”You nothing more then a damn fascist!” In no mood to waste anymore of my life, I sighed and walked away from that twit, appropriated some crunchy tacos, and stayed up late watching Samurai flicks.