Another Holiday
It is yet another holiday without my kids,
And once again I feel the urge to keep the pain hid.
No one knows how truly alone I feel.
They just tell me in time I will heal.
How can I get over this though?
This is the most excruciating pain I know!
It is not physical but a pain of the heart.
It is unfair to keep mother and child apart.
There are days that my emotions are so raw,
I just want someone or something to cleave and claw.
This is pure agony at its best.
I no longer have a heart in my chest.
Maybe oh maybe this is a dream.
No it is not and yet I cannot scream.
The choice for them to leave was not mine to say,
The wonderful state decided it was my price to pay.
So once again I mourn my loss and cry,
For my asking for help came at a cost way too high.
I sit here in no one way or other,
And ask myself " What am I if I can't be a Mother?"
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