Jonathan J. Poet Rhyme

An Unending Cascade

I’ve said it before 
And I’d say it again 
That I believe in my Lord 
Like I believe in my sins. 

I’ve prayed everything I could
And built altars of wood.  
And when I didn’t want to stay 
I’d remember how to pray. 

I crawled into a bed unknown 
In a room that wasn’t home 
And begged at five 
For strength to be alive. 

When I was eight 
I saw straight 
What happens to be a bottles fate 
And how it turns love to hate. 
And I prayed to never lift a glass, 
To always answer with a pass. 

When I was ten 
I lost a brother and friend 
And prayed for strength to the end 
For a brother gone ‘round the bend. 

When I was thirteen I prayed 
To have my anger finally be laid
To have my thoughts splayed 
To have that anger delayed. 

When I was fifteen I prayed for vision 
To see those broken from derision 
To let it be my decision 
To have them be risen. 

When I was eighteen I prayed for a brain 
To know what it means to train 
To be willing to make my gains gain. 
To no longer have to pretend or feign. 

I have prayed and I’ve prayed 
In an unending cascade 
But I’ve strayed and I’ve stayed 
In an unstoppable downgrade. 

All that I’ve asked in the past 
Has yet to come around at last. 
But now that I’m 33 and trying to remember to go to AA…
I guess that proves it….
I just don’t know how to pray.

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Alison A Smith nee Howarth September 12, 2026 at 10:12 PM A powerful, candid confessional poem whose repeated prayers form an effective cascade through childhood, grief, anger, compassion, and addiction. The plain, rhymed couplets give it the feeling of someone speaking honestly in real time, while the final admission lands with heartbreaking humility.