An Inferior Hell
(His Version of a Transcendent Paradise)
When our souls stop breathing on this earth and our bodies release them from their grasp, finding your soul again to dance with mine shall be an enduring task
See your soul my love has already been through so much pain, and my soul oh my soul it is damned with all of my shame
Your soul deserves peace and pure tranquility, while mine deserves nothing but punishment continually raining down on me
See my time on this earth I didn’t use my soul as I should, I only wanted to deal the blows, but you were the one thing that about me was good
So, if my soul should leave this earth before your beautiful one seeps it’s last breath, please know that I will fight tooth and nail even after death
To find your soul so that mine can finally rest in peace, this is what I wish for with all of me but I know this can never be
Because long ago you told me so yourself that if you should make your exit before me that I was to meet you in a transcendent place, but that it wouldn’t be as magical as it appeared upon first glance of seeing your face
You promised me that our paradise wouldn’t be a paradise at all, for me it would be an inferior hell where you would make the calls
All because in life I did nothing but emotionally torture you, and although those were never my intentions your words still ring true
The broken promises, all the back and forth, and tattered memories, your heart that I broke more times than it ever had the chance to beat
You told me there would be no happiness here, there would only be visions of hell, because after what my soul did to yours this is where I deserved to dwell
I am to watch on repeat all of the pain that I put you through, and continually listen to the sound of your voice crying out unendingly on loop
Your sweet melodic voice eclipsed in so much pain, tears of rain dripping down your face while I stand there knowing I’m to blame
It’s only fitting and it’s only right, that I get served what I did to you in the afterlife
You can watch me as I toss and turn and scream and cry out your name, knowing that you’re right there within my grasp but you won’t release me from my chains
And I deserve this, I actually probably deserve so much more, I am only getting a taste of all that I put you through before
So, my love I do pray that my soul leaves this earth before you, because although I may deserve this punishment, this hell, I would rather create a heaven for you
A place that I can right all of my wrong and give you the pieces of me that you did need, and I can wrap you up in my arms and never again would your heart bleed
So, my love you can create an inferior hell and wait for me to come, but I pray that I go first because I do love you and I want to show you back then what I should have done.
Copyright © Amanda Kinzer | Year Posted 2023
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