Amanda Kinzer | + Follow Poet |
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All Alone

I heard that you were dying, and I wanted to reach out, but it had been years since we had spoken and this in my mind planted doubts
I should have just gone against my better judgment and did what I knew to be right, but my life had changed so much since we had last spoken, and I felt that it wasn’t worth the fight
See I now was married, and I had kids of my own, and I knew nothing of how your life had been as they say some people come and some go
But when I heard the devastating news that your life had turned out so bad, all that I could think of were the days when we were friends and how looking back it made me feel so sad

To know that you had no one everyone close to you had already died, and there you lay all alone with such sadness portrayed in your once vibrant, laughing eyes
You had even posted a message for any and all to see that you were at the end of your line and your life and oh how that deeply affected me
Not because we were anything to each other anymore there was a time long ago that we had touched, and those memories are bittersweet a childish kind of love
But I never wished for you to be lonely or hurt anguished in any way, but to see you looking lifeless and so weak I knew not what to say

The man that I knew long ago he was the life of the party a gentleman at least to me, holding doors open and holding my hand anything to show me he respected me
So, to see you now with no light, no will, no energy to even lift up your head, it cut me deep inside because you didn’t deserve any of this
To be all alone at the end without anyone by your side holding your hand, I wonder what your last thoughts were as you lay there upon that bed
Knowing that you had no one, no visitors, that apparently no one even cared, I cringe to think of how you must have felt so all alone and scared

Wondering what was after this? Would you wake up seeing the light? Would you walk into the Lord’s arms welcoming you and see the faces that haunted your dreams at night
The faces of the ones that you once loved, that left this world and your life too soon, I pray that you got to see them again and that you’re happy and healed and all of the pain is through
I just wish that you would have known that although life moved on, I still cared, you were once a part of my life a friend, a lesson, a time from when I was becoming who I was in the world, and you were a part of it that with I got to share
I wish that I could tell you I’m so sorry that we lost touch, that I’m sorry you were all alone, I pray that you knew the Lord and you were ready when He called you home

Although you may not be here anymore just know that the memory of you lives on through the lives that you touched, at least it does in my head and heart, my friend you will always be loved
Loved as a person that was once a part of my life, a person that made me laugh and shared experiences with and always treated me right
Loved as being genuine for just being who it was that you were, and never changing yourself regardless of what it may have been for
So, I like to think that you’re up there smiling down on those of us that remember you as you were here on this earth, and please know that I’m sorry I never visited you when you were dying circumstances kept that from me but losing you from this world still hurt

So be happy my once sweet friend and share that smile that could light up any room and know that when I leave this earth one day I hope that we reunite as friends again when I cross over to the other side too.

Copyright © Amanda Kinzer | Year Posted 2025

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