After Dinner
After dinner
Taco night
Nearly midnight
Running up the stairs
Oh God
I had done so well
The family ate
And I ate
Seven o’clock on a Tuesday
Only two
I only ate two
No cheese
No sour cream
I had done wonderfully
Eleven thirty on Tuesday
Everyone in bed
Everyone but me
I approached the kitchen
I ate it all
No one saw how much was left
They won’t notice it’s gone
I put it all away
They didn’t see it
But I ate it all
Running up the stairs
They have their fans on
They’re asleep
They won’t hear me
I find my familiar place
Kneeling at my altar
Forgiveness is always found here
It’s time to confess my sins
My fingers slip into a spot they know too well
I struggle for a moment
Nothing will come up
Oh God
No
Don’t let it stay inside me
Another moment
Gagging
Retching
I feel it coming now
Oh thank God
It’s all gone
Now I can sleep soundly
I wash my hands and face
Rinse my mouth
I look in the mirror
Why?
Why is this happening?
Oh my God
Look at me
This can’t be me
This can’t be what I’ve become
But what choice do I have?
Copyright © Molly Mccarthy | Year Posted 2011
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