Abyssal Dejection

I guess i never will actually understand, i guess i am just antithetic The quintessence i see The quintessence i know The quintessence i feel, all beyond my control To be oblivious would be angelic, live my life identical to all the planet Just close my eye's and pretend Imagine the world as it was intentionally planned Go through life with blinders as they say so the pain will go away Ignore the hurt inside my soul Just pretend that i am whole, and no one will ever know But inwardly i will know The intent to increase till i can no longer sleep