A Womans Role

What is it about women That makes them think their role Is to deprive their starving husbands Of the food that feeds their soul So I’m a few pounds overweight Really, that’s no big deal I want to eat the food I like It’s how it makes me feel She says that fruit is good for me Takes pains to tell me why Well breakfast’s an important meal So I have apple pie She’s always pushing food at me Like vegetables and nuts So I oblige reluctantly With two or three doughnuts What is the problem I protest I’m doing what you ask Just change how you prepare them That’s not too hard a task It matters not, I always say If I don't do what I'm told I won't live much longer anyway I'm already pretty old They keep on persisting Like they could not care less About us poor men's wishes And disregard our happiness It’s degrading when I have to sneak Into the Cookie jar She’s guarding o’er the candy dish I have to steal a chocolate bar It’s bad for me she tells me It’ll cause all kinds of ills I say that's impossible ’Cause I’m taking all these pills I’ve finally caved, I’ve given in So my health I do not botch So I’ll just sit here brooding And finish my bottle of scotch