Aisha Alansari Poet Rhyme

A Tree

Once, a leaf asked another..
''let's be friends, ''
other saw how happy they were, 
how strong they were together, 
so more flew..
from the ground and onto a big brown trunk, 
years and years came by, 
working together made them better, 
how beautiful they became! 
so many leaves I see, 
with a peace of wood, 
They formed an amazing plant called a tree.

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John Ginesi June 3, 2013 at 4:34 AM Hi Aisha, this is a very original concept poem, using nature as a theme, I saw your name on the Souper's Wall so I looked your poetry up and was surprised in what I saw, please feel free to read my poems anytime. John

Gabe Shelly May 24, 2013 at 7:53 AM Good idea, I like it. But the story needs more description... more elaboration... it's too short for the kind of story your trying to tell. Also, some of it doesn't make sense-- leaves flying from the ground to make a tree. If that were so, doesn't that mean the tree is already dead. You got talent-- I can see it-- but you need direction. Keep working.

Gabe Shelly May 24, 2013 at 7:50 AM Read my poem "The Bike Trail" that might help you.

Caleah Buil May 16, 2013 at 5:30 PM I loved this! I liked how you described it. Really cute and "growing" poem. ;) Gabe Shelly May 24, 2013 at 7:52 AM Sorry, I sent my message to the wrong person. Please forgive me. Gabe Shelly May 24, 2013 at 7:47 AM Good idea, I like it. But the story needs more description... more elaboration... it's too short for the kind of story your trying to tell. Also, some of it doesn't make sense-- leaves flying from the ground to make a tree. If that were so, doesn't that mean the tree is already dead. You got talent-- I can see it-- but you need direction. Keep working.