Notes About The Poem
In writings this my aim was to write an evocative narrative with this poem of heartache. Hoping the reader experiences with vivid imagery when reading that carries them deep into the emotional struggle of holding onto a lost love. Use metaphorical creativity in the title "Post Love Disorder" an throughout the poem, even using a made up word "Love-matized" as a diagnosis.
A Post Love Disorder
I’ve been love matized:
a traumored heart, living a lie.
This love illness,
a common disease
of memories kept alive in me.
A mystic fatigue,
heavy with half waking dreams.
The prognosis is bleak:
an imaginary lover
is all we’ll ever be.
Unable to erase this part of me,
our first moments
etched into instinct,
resurfacing, repeating,
on relentless loop.
Forever stuck in our past it choose,
never healed from losing you.
I thought time would make me forget
This illness—this PLD,
you are forever a part of me.
I’ve been love matized:
a heart uninjured, yet bound.
This love illness, this disease,
you become a part of me.
Symptoms of PLD:
a hunger, a craving,
a desire to feed,
always creeping,
always searching for thee.
Addicted memories shape my appetite,
nourished only in dreams at night.
This diagnosis—incurable, profound.
To be unable to forget you
is not a curse;
it is a treasure found when sleep.
Again and again the dreams replay
surreal, persistent,
refusing to fade.
I close my eyes, escaping reality,
maintaining the madness,
to dream of you once more.
I’ve been traumatized:
a heart unbroken, yet alive.
This mental illness,
this love disease,
you will always be a part of me.
You live deep within,
a fundamental figure of my mind.
This PLD consumes me,
keeps me in solitary fantasy,
of a loves imprint, held deep,
of that first love,
we been denied
to keep.
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