A Perilous Flight

A perilous flight I do so want to take wing and fly so high with you. At every attempt, you took the opportunity, clipped my wings until not a feather – nothing but flesh on pinions that do not give flight to dreams, – no feathers – on air, sings not the pulchritudinous songs of eternal, blissful love nor are able to carry the hopeless romantic above the grounding that your world of indifference makes nor give life to the heart, spirit, soul that it takes. Your reality – my Dear, - has been a very harsh sight for this one – loving you as I do, has been quite a fight in order to maintain some semblance of dignity, knowing that nothing would bring you closer to me, in any meaningful, deep, relevant, passionate, loving way and so here I stand – irrelevant – on the outside, every day, watching, feeling you step backwards, ever further away from where I wanted to take you – to always be your other half, everything in my dreams – I’d see visions dancing across inner screens, - lids of my eyes, - visions of your naked beauty, floating in heaven’s skies far above the mask, the veneer, the façade, the lies I know are but the truths of who you are, of your soul that believes that every thing I will ever know comes at me from the heart of belief in a truth that at this man, believed to be so uncouth, who has lost out !, because decades ago – lost his youth. I have walked within your shadow for so long – becoming an intricate part of it – it’s become my song “ it is you, it is me, it is what could have made a we ”, in your heart, in your world, would never be ! I have also walked in the light, casting my own shadow, but none of this, do you ever care to know. I know !, we share much in the way of thought, much in the way of tastes, beliefs, experiences - you not !, for you believe, with me, nothing in common doth show nothing with me do you want to touch, or places to go. For me, with you, nothing much, I do believe – these my thoughts, as such ! Walking beneath your shadow – sometime – was a trying experience, sometimes it left me in tears – crying ! Walking with your shadow, at times, was a beautiful experience, I will cherish for all eternity, my life was full. Walking in the light of the sun – together- side by side, shadows entwined, dancing, sharing – nothing to hide would be most illuminating, a most satisfying a ride. These days, the light hides, as do we and our shadows. Time seems to have unraveled the dance of our shadows, aa for me, there seems to be – only empty spaces, not an image greets these eyes – of your many faces and it seems to me, we will not be going places, any place together that is – journeys, adventures, walks and now – I do believe – there will be no more talks. What ever it was that has brought us to this place, me Dear, remember this, I will never forget your face ! B. J. “A” 2 February 2nd 2009