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A Perfect Storm

*Hey guys :-) If you've got time to leave a little comment, I'd really appreciate any feed back you're willing to proffer. Constructive criticism and suggestions for improvement are very welcome. Thanks!* Side by side you stand exalted, Over land from your dirt throne, Earth lies open, blast ripped through it, Peeled back flesh drilled into bone, Long lost count of times you’ve dreamt it, Pause, rewind it, play the scene, Now the moment’s here unfolding, Can’t remember how to breathe, Read the words, rain blurs the paper, Fragments of a heart and mind, Stunned, astounded by his brightness, Leaves you dazzled, colour blind, Looking back, you saw it coming, Sense the air’s alive with storm, Still it finds you caught off guard, Lightening running through your core, Like a livewire on your skin, It’s still coursing through you strong, Leaves you vibrant from the shock, Even when the source is gone, Well in the end, you find it’s easy, Drift into it just like sleep, Reality blurs in states between waking, But it’s real, now live the dream.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009




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Date: 7/14/2009 6:50:00 AM
I like the rhyme of the lines and the metaphor of the tears. Sara
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Date: 7/13/2009 5:50:00 AM
Welcome to the PoetrySoup family Sariah. Excellent write do continue your writing. Love, Carol
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Date: 7/12/2009 4:37:00 PM
You are not your life, you're it's observer, that means, you are allowed to make some changes yourself! Godly Love Moses WELCOME TO SOUP!
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Date: 7/12/2009 4:31:00 PM
very well written :)
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Date: 7/12/2009 4:16:00 PM
Great use of imagery...Raul
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