Brian Davey Poet Couplet

A Make Believe Tree

A Make Believe Tree




The outside is looking in on the inside out,
  once what was known true is upended by doubt.

    Anew feeling altered, frozen stiff, can't move,
      wonder if from the other window my chances will improve.

        Question what to see, lonely tree of make believe,
          dimmed lights, uncrossed room now too scared to leave.

Chances slim, sink or swim, don't go without a fight,
  As the night air plays silly games with your direction and insight.

    Disillusioned in fear as you realize there is nothing there,
      now you've learned the lesson that it's not polite to stare.

        Empty night, reflected glass, vanishing act of thin air...
                                   ...users beware...



bmdavey@
02/25/16

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Timothy Hicks February 25, 2016 at 10:06 PM I thought this was quite creepy, especially the second-to-last stanza ... "now you've learned the lesson that it's not polite to stare" ... gives me goosebumps, the way you worded that! And then your drug reference adds to the horror of the night... I like your style mate. You seem to enjoy the use of paradox with your first line "the outside is looking in on the inside out" ... had to read the couple times before continuing on! Brian Davey February 26, 2016 at 5:26 PM Yah I kind get kind of creepy in my best moments and am very honored that you said you like my style, I appreciate that very much. You are also right on the grammatical error I didn't notice it so thank you Timothy Hicks February 25, 2016 at 10:07 PM This is just a grammar issue, but I thought I'd let you know that it's "too scared" rather than "to scared" ... great poem, Brian!