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A Luxury

Today was ninety-eight degrees; At least that’s how it felt. I’m shocked that I am still intact; I thought that I would melt. But I would take this kind of heat For months, all in a row, Instead of what was perfect weather Twelve short years ago. For from those bright blue skies above The world came crashing down, Releasing so much sorrow In its tears we all could drown. Complaining is a luxury When there’s no glaring threat And I feel fortunate to whine About a little sweat.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 9/12/2013 10:16:00 AM
And today we pray for sky's of grey rather than clear blue terror. It's a shame it came to be this way, but grey sky's are much fairer. Love this one ilene. I think the rhymes and meter are spot on. Too bad the subject matter is so devistating. Peace. Peace. Peace.
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Date: 9/11/2013 5:04:00 PM
This is a good poem, but I would make a few slight changes to tighten it up a bit. What about changing line 11 to "Releasing with it so much sorrow" (it lends a little length and evens out the beat) and changing line 14 to "when there is no glaring threat" (removing the contraction helps the flow) and lines 15 and 16 to "And I feel so fortunate", "to whine about a little sweat" (it evens things out a bit). I really liked your poem, though; kudos :)
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