A Living Hell My Agoraphobia

My Agoraphobia.
In 1983 you came back  into my life.
Bringing me nothing, but trouble and strife.
You kept me a prisoner in my own home.
When all I longed for, Was to go out alone.
You caused me pain, you made cry,
I felt so ill, I thought I would die.
From doctor, to doctor, from pillar to post.
Where o where, is the cure I wanted the most?
Where exactly does the answer lie?
Eventually I found it, in a doctor called Di.
She gave me the will to carry on and fight.
I fought so hard, with all of  my might.
The shops in the village seemed so very far away.
If only I could go out, just for one single day.
I tried and tried, the tears, the pain,
It was a battle lose or gain,
I gave it everything, yes everything I had.
It wasn’t easy, in fact, it was very bad.
In 1990, after 7 long years,
A lot of heartache, many, many tears,
I was starting to win the battle of getting out the door,
With each day, I was doing more and more,
But there was still so many things that I couldn’t do alone.
Still so many jobs, that had to be done on the phone.
I could now walk to the shops, there and back,
 get the groceries, take them home, and unpack,
But I still couldn’t get a bus into town on my own,
only if I had someone to go with, borrowed, on loan.
It took several more years, of heartbreak and pain,
Before I could finally travel alone again.
May 2nd  2000, I jumped on a bus and popped into town,
It was just like my world had been turned upside down.
HERE WAS I FREE AT LAST,
Finally free to forget the past.
So I decided to do something I had never done before. 
I started at college part time, each day I couldn’t wait to get out of the door,
To catch my bus, to feel like I had finally rejoined the human race.
Living life at a hectic pace.
Going to college at the age of 53,
Really did do wanders for me.
The computer course was harder than I thought it would be, 
but others in the class helped me.
Our tutor was really nice,
Always ready with good advice.
Now I really feel I have turned my life completely around,
With this new freedom I have found.
With a lot of help, from my husband and son,
The battle is over, finally won.
So its goodbye agoraphobia you belong in the past,
Never again will you get me in your grasp.

This is a true poem of my own battle with Agoraphobia, That robbed me of a lot of my life,
Copyright © | Year Posted 2008

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A  Avatar
June 12, 2015 at 1:19 AM
Pat, Congratulations on having your poem featured this week. SKAT love
Ray Avatar
November 27, 2011 at 5:27 AM
So proud of you. Panic disorders are extremely painful and isolating. Beautiful story, beautiful triumph!
Brown Avatar
November 23, 2011 at 10:16 AM
Congratulations on your well deserved poem being featured this week Pat. Love, Carol
Mehta Avatar
November 21, 2011 at 5:59 PM
Congratulations on your poem being featured this week, Pat
Zzzzz Avatar
May 13, 2011 at 10:24 AM
An uplifting write. I'm glad you overcame your debilitating phobia. Regards, Robert.
Jordan Avatar
September 13, 2008 at 4:10 PM
Well God Bless - It is so good to hear that you have overcome such a tremendous obstacle in your life - Very weel written poem that is just an inspiration to read - God Bless
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