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A Change of Address

Summer storm flooding

in city cemetery.

Moving day at last!



Author notes: This is a Bible-based Haiku. To understand it please read 1 Thes. 4:16 and 1 Cor. 15:52

deathgodgravemoving onhaiku

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Michael Newman

November 20, 2014 at 7:55 AM

The connection literally brings to mind coffins floating down the street? See the other connection also.Not sure if I can rate the Hospital Haiku but I wanted to place a 6 on it .Regards miken

Darlene Gifford

November 20, 2014 at 4:09 PM

Thank you Michael for your advice! I posted the poem and got 4 positive comments already! I'm very surprised. But pleasantly.

Darlene Gifford

November 20, 2014 at 10:10 AM

Thank you for your guidance and encouragement, Miken, I will go for it! However, I do not expect many replies, if any. Maybe negative ones saying it is too graphic! Well, we'll see.

Michael Newman

November 20, 2014 at 9:02 AM

Well, it would not be fair for me to guide your poetry. I find that from the original draft, rework on word and structure happens . go for it ...see what response you get. Miken

Darlene Gifford

November 20, 2014 at 8:27 AM

Hi, Michael, Strange it brought to your mind coffins floating down the street! My original thoughts were just that! The last line read, "Bodies by a box." meaning the bodies had floated down to the houses and were found by their mail box.My title was, "Mail Delivery" I thought the poem was too graphic, so I changed it. What do you think? should I post the original or was I correct in thinking it was too graphic Should I post my original thoughts. I value your input.

Maurice Yvonne

September 16, 2014 at 5:50 PM

Great Haiku.

Darlene Gifford

September 16, 2014 at 7:31 PM

You know the saying. "ashes to ashes, dust to dust," But when the Lord returns, all the dead in Christ will have a new address, with celestial bodies. Thanks, Maurice.