120 Days Away

Four months today since you've been gone and I somehow have been able to do it alone, live a life far different from the one I wanted, from the one you once said you wanted. That was a life free from a half empty heart, a too big bed and an every day cold start. It's so quiet in bed now I can hear myself think but I'd rather roll over to look at then see your eyes blink. Seeing you is how I needed my days to begin for now they are so long I feel they'll never end. I hope your plans come to pass and the money you receive truly lasts. May it enable you to finally find some peace. With all you've been through it needs to do that at least. When true rest will find me again I don't know, Perhaps it never will since you had to go. Almost 3,000 hours now to feel the loss of you, to know how much I miss you in this harder life that I now walk through. No dry eyes in the shower or in the car, the tears come back whenever you go afar. Thank God in my dreams you're still here and we walk hand in hand my dear. Without dreams I'd no longer want to be and I'd hope real soon my Lord to see.