that night

“can we see your arms?”

how does one sentence effect me so deeply?

when the police asked that question 

my heart plummeted in my chest

my eyes got watery 

my hands got shakey

and suddenly i regretted everything that i had done

i didn’t want my grandma to see

how much i hated myself 

how much i hated the body that i inhibited 

and how much i hated the lines on my arms

but i raised my sleeves

she started crying

they asked questions 

i don’t remember a lot from that night

not the questioning 

not the ride to the hospital 

not my mom sitting beside crying, asking why would i do this

i didn’t have a answer 

8 year old me didn’t have an answer for why she wanted to die

just that she missed her dad

13 year old me didn’t have an answer for why she needed to die

all she said was 

“i don’t know”

“im sorry.”

thanks for the feedback kate! but i don’t care how you feel about my feelings, sorry :(

here is my fav song of the month to you https://www.last.fm/music/Slipknot/_/Psychosocial victim emo

this stupid fashion for i instead of I comes fromapple iEVERYYRING make lines of your POEM LINES with CAPITAL LETTERS use punctuation your poem cannot be published because IT IS STUPID gibberish of disturbed by world affairs young woman you have to be no representative iof but literate every teenager go through the DARK times \it;snormal then they become adults and they do business and manual labor it;s life it was like these for more than 500 hundred of the decades what do you want from the world AVA to be as crap as yourself limit? people grow up and transform there is overpopulation of Homo sapiens for 6 billion individuals IF WE PLACE ACCENT ON TEENAGER SUFFERING FROM HORMONAL TRANSFORMATION THERE IS LITTLE TO NO GOOD ADULTS VALID FOR LIFE AND EXISTENCE WILL EMANATE FROM THEM

sorry i meant inhabited, im really bad at grammar!

Hello, Did you mean inhibited or inhabited? I know self harm and it is courageous to share. You have done it well.