My Fathers Love Letters

 On Fridays he'd open a can of Jax
After coming home from the mill,
& ask me to write a letter to my mother
Who sent postcards of desert flowers
Taller than men.
 He would beg,
Promising to never beat her
Again.
 Somehow I was happy
She had gone, & sometimes wanted
To slip in a reminder, how Mary Lou
Williams' "Polka Dots & Moonbeams"
Never made the swelling go down.

His carpenter's apron always bulged
With old nails, a claw hammer
Looped at his side & extension cords
Coiled around his feet.

Words rolled from under the pressure
Of my ballpoint: Love,
Baby, Honey, Please.

We sat in the quiet brutality
Of voltage meters & pipe threaders,
Lost between sentences .
 .
 .

The gleam of a five-pound wedge
On the concrete floor
Pulled a sunset
Through the doorway of his toolshed.

I wondered if she laughed
& held them over a gas burner.

My father could only sign
His name, but he'd look at blueprints
& say how many bricks 
Formed each wall.
 This man,
Who stole roses & hyacinth
For his yard, would stand there
With eyes closed & fists balled,
Laboring over a simple word, almost
Redeemed by what he tried to say.

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