Vulgarity is, in reality, nothing but a modern, chic, pert descendant of the goddess Dullness.

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Good taste is the worst vice ever invented.

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I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.

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My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence.

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I'm not the man to balk at a low smell, I not the man to insist on asphodel. This sounds like a He-fellow, don't you think? It sounds like that. I belch, I bawl, I drink.

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