The Egoism of Love
Love takes. Love doesn't give. If you think anyone is capable of altruism, you're wrong. When you think you love someone and want to do something for them, you're not going to do that for their own sakes. It's actually for your own sake.
In doing something good for the one you love, you're trying to do something that you would have wanted someone else to do for you yourself.
Suppose you love to eat. As a child you were always hungry. You've grown up to be a constantly hungry person. You're obsessed with food. When you think you love somebody, you feel like giving them something good to eat. When they eat it, enjoy it immensely, and thank you for it, you couldn't be happier.
But who knows? There may be some people out there who actually don't need your benevolence. They may not like it when you try to give them what they don't need. They may not be as hungry as you are.
Suppose you were deprived of the good education you deserved when young. You've been education-starved all the time. You've grown up to be obsessed with the idea of knowledge. When you see anyone unhappy, you tend to assume that they're unhappy because of the educational opportunities they may have missed when young. So naturally you try to give them good education, especially to your children.
But again, who knows? Maybe your children don't want any such education as you did. You may have been hungry for knowledge, but they may hate it when you try to teach them anything. They may not like it when you're ready to pay a fortune to send them to good schools.
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