The decline of proper child-rearing in African society
In many African communities today, the traditional art of child-rearing once a cornerstone of family life has been replaced by a passive form of care that can only be described as “herding.” This shift is troubling, as the essence of proper parenting seems to have been lost in the pursuit of convenience. What was once a deliberate, hands-on approach to raising children has now been reduced to little more than ensuring they are fed and entertained.
Across the continent, an increasing number of families have adopted this “herding” style of parenting. Instead of nurturing their children with discipline and guidance, many parents have become disconnected, leaving the heavy lifting of child-rearing to others. Typically, both parents are busy chasing their livelihoods, leaving the care of the children to someone else often a young house help, no older than a teenager. These young girls are given minimal instructions, such as: “If the child cries, give them food, let them sleep when they’re tired, or put them in front of the television to calm them down.”
This approach to parenting has become the norm in many homes, especially in urban areas. Even when parents are present, their primary concerns revolve around basic needs: ensuring the child eats, goes to school, and finishes their homework. If the child is upset or misbehaves, the solution is simple: give them food, buy them snacks, or turn on the TV. The idea of teaching values, correcting behavior, or helping the child learn from their mistakes seems to have been forgotten. Instead, the common refrain is, “Leave them alone, they’re just children.”
The father’s return home after a long day often follows a predictable pattern. His first question is usually, “Has the child eaten?” The response is followed by a trip to the market or store to buy bread, sweets, or soft drinks for the child. This idea that feeding the child equals raising them has become entrenched in many homes. But feeding a child is not the same as nurturing their character, teaching them responsibility, or helping them grow into self-reliant individuals.
As a result, many children have become undisciplined, spoiled, and entitled. They demand whatever they want, without understanding the value of work or the consequences of their actions. A child who has been "herded" in this way does not know how to take responsibility for themselves. They have no sense of respect for their elders, no understanding of right or wrong, and no inclination to contribute to the household. If asked to do simple chores, they sulk, cry, or refuse. They grow up to be stubborn and entitled, as though the world owes them something.
By the age of 10, many children in these households cannot even wash their own clothes, clean their room, or help with basic chores around the house. They are, in effect, like chickens in a pen fed, but not allowed to learn how to fly. This failure to instill responsibility and work ethic in children means that they grow up without the tools necessary to navigate life successfully.
It’s clear that parents must take a more active role in raising their children. Children need responsibilities whether it’s cleaning up after themselves, helping with chores, or learning how to solve problems on their own. They need to be corrected when they make mistakes, taught good character, and shown how to work hard for what they want. It’s essential that they understand the value of compassion, service, and living a life of integrity.
Sadly, many children today are not learning these crucial life skills. They become selfish, greedy, and unable to relate to others. In some homes, children are given more work than visiting relatives’ children, with parents fearing that the guests will feel burdened. But this is a mistake. By giving the visiting children real tasks and responsibilities, parents are preparing them for life. Meanwhile, their own children remain idle, spoiled, and unprepared for the challenges of adulthood.
When these children grow into adults, they may have completed their education, but they often lack the practical skills to survive in the real world. Many face high levels of unemployment, and when opportunities do come, they are ill-equipped to take advantage of them. Unable to handle basic tasks, such as washing their own clothes or running a business, they rely on their parents for support well into adulthood.
By the time their parents reach old age and retirement, these children who once had every opportunity to be independent are still living at home, doing nothing. They wait for their parents to die, hoping to inherit something, rather than working for a future of their own.
In the end, the cycle of "herding" creates a generation that is neither capable nor responsible. Without the lessons of hard work, responsibility, and discipline, these children grow up unprepared for the realities of life. They may have academic qualifications, but they are not equipped to face the challenges of adulthood.
Parents need to remember: proper parenting is not about feeding and entertaining children. It’s about preparing them for the future. It’s about teaching them the value of work, of responsibility, of character, and of living a life that contributes to the greater good. If this shift is not made, the future will be one where an entire generation, though educated, will remain dependent and unproductive, waiting for things to be handed to them rather than earning their place in the world.
Comments