Swan Song

MaryAnn gazed out the plane. They were flying to Ohio for another concert. The famous Tommy Brown. She was glad he wasn't on the plane. The creep. Ednia, her mother-figure tossed in her sleep. MaryAnne pulled the blanket higher on her, making sure she didn't catch a draft from the frigid February temperatures outside. She turned back to the window and thought about the farms below them and the house she left at 14. She had always been an orphange. A family took her in only to have her work day and night on their farm. With calloused hands and a $50 bank note she had taken from their oak dresser one night MaryAnn hightailed it out of their in the dead of night, one evening.

She was still glad she left, for if she hadn't surely she would have been found exausted on the farm but no medical attention given. They were cold people. That is all MaryAnn remembered of them. Their names already vanished from her mind.

But Tommy was another matter. His face, she saw in her sleep. His thick black hair, his lips rough on MaryAnn's neck, he dragged her into the hotel with him, why why hadn't she fought back, why hadn't she yelled or ran out of the room? His charm. His wit. He adored her. Flowers on her dressing room table, a stolen kiss in the rain while Edna's back was turned. "Sugar, I've missed you", he had flown back to California after spending a week in Nashville recording their soon to be hit "I Saw The Light", she embraced him with open arms. That past week had been spent sitting up in her room of the house she shared with the other young singers in the group, she stared out of window, working on her flower notebook, pressing the dried flowers into the white paper and writing down facts about them. Horticultrual always fascinated her, but she missed Tommy, she missed being wanted, she missed the attention he showered her with. That evening he would come home, they were all scheduled to go to the Brown's house for a short recording session / rehersal in order to prepare for a church even in Memphis two weeks from now. Afterwards, when the crowd spread out he pulled her aside "Can you do something for Tommy, tonight MaryAnn"? She nodded smiling, keeping an eye out for Edna. She was talking to the composer. "Anything", he smiled. "Meet me at the Hill Hotel in a hour, ok"? "Why"? he pulled her close to him, the heat off his chest, delighted MaryAnn. She knew it wasn't right, how could she have known what was about to happen though? They had never done anything more than kiss. "Because sugar, I need some alone time to pracitce with just you". He flashed a white, brighter than sun smile at her. She smiled back, surely extra practice wouldn't hurt, she thought to herself. How was she to know? How was she to know anything about what would happen to her that night. That dreadful night.

The plane touched down in Ohio, as the crew unloaded their luggage MaryAnn pulled out her blue brush and combed her long blonde hair. Edna had woken when they were decending and she gave a small huff. "These workers just take forever" she muttered. MaryAnne nodded without response. Edna had always taken care of her especially after the Tommy incident. She had been so recluctant to tell her afterwards, she shame engulfed MaryAnn every time Edna spoke to her. One rehersal Tommy had stopped singing in the middle of it, to critique MaryAnn's singing. She had horrified. No one ever got feedback from Tommy ever, it was always Edna, but she had told him no, after the hotel, after the present at the group house, of a small crystal earrings, with a note attached saying "For taking such good care of Tommy", she was horrified, he didn't love her, he didn't even care for her. Everything he had ever told her was lies, stupid, stupid, lies. "MaryAnn, I can barely hear you, why don't you sing out"? Tommy jeered in her direction. She stood there with her mouth hung open, they other girls, turned to look at her, they were all polite, most of them blonde like her. They were waiting for her response. She didn't have one, she ran. She ran out of the rehersal room, out of the producers box, down the long stale smelling hallway, out into the brightly lit reception area, which always smelled like oranges and into the parking lot. She felt numb, especially her hands. Nothing was all right, nothing was fine. Who was she? Was she nothing? She heard footsteps behind her, short clicks of a woman's heels. On the ground where MaryAnn was sitting, she saw two shiny black heels in front of her. She closed her eyes, and heard Edna speak. "What on earth do you think you are doing, child?" Edna waited. "Well, I want an answer". MaryAnn sucked the air into her lungs and spoke, very softly "Wrong". "What?" Edna snapped. MaryAnn's long hair fell in front of her face, the warm summer of the hotel evening had faded away in season, but the cool October air hung around her, MaryAnn knew the sky was overcast, it had been since early that morning when they girls were driven to the studio. It was nearly lunchtime now, she wasn't hungry and hadn't eaten anything for nearly a whole week. "I'm sorry" she managed, trying slowly to get up. "You get back in there this instant" Edna barked, "We have a schedule and... my god", her eyes widened. MaryAnn felt a shift in her mood, she looked up at Edna, hoping she wasn't going to be struck. Like she had been on the farm all those times for not doing her chores correctly. Edna gently brushed the honey colored hair from MaryAnn's face. "It's not your fault, you didn't know what kind of man he really was" -- to be finished soon -

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