Satisfaction Guaranteed!


Accepting his current lot in life - his career, his productivity, his family, his friends, and most disappointingly... his girlfriend - Paul wasn't looking to upset the gods or the balance of his unhappy universe. However, it didn't appear that the universe was finished with him yet - he came across a pop-up while surfing the web one day - as this was no random happenstance. This was in fact a fated find!

Clicking down on the red heart attached to the pink one that read: "SOUL-MATE GUARANTEE," he is pessimistically hopeful that this will be the answer to his troubles.

Could it really be all that simple as 10 tiny testaments?

Ten little phrases and poof … instant happiness?

Who was this Mark Fortune?

Mr. Fortune - smirking at him with eyes of disdain … He was skeptical, to say the least. But, with a name like that, he was determined to find out!

The website banner read: “The probability of love by the numbers.”

What kind of shit was he pulling and how many people actually fell for his schtick?! He didn't know ... but something kept pulling him in … allured by the sheer mystique of it and mesmerized by the music emanating in the background along with the colors dancing on the screen in front of him … he couldn't look away.

Another button floated back and forth on the screen, taunting him like a cat giving in to the temptations of a little flashing red dot. This one, a bit longer as it scrolled: “Are you ready to give it all up to meet the person you're truly meant to be with?” He surmised that it might have been better stated "Give in to your Soul!" But who was he to judge?

Mark the theorist was proclaimed as "T.I.G.-- The Illustrious Genius (T. M.)!" A tad pretentious perhaps, Trademarking a self-title?

With a shrug and a deep breath. Closing his eyes, he gently depresses the keyboard, and yet another background flashes on the screen.

This was it… "Are You Sure?"

"Take the Plunge?” or “Abandon All Hope!"

Well, that was quite a way to state "YES" or "No."

Plunge it was. And the interim screen was that of him tumbling down the rabbit hole and into a sea of many types and colors of fish scurrying by his avatar that oddly created itself a striking resemblance to himself on the fall down into the great big blue yonder. Was this website using his webcam to create a likeness?

Before he can think any more of it … A silvery coral fish with a baby blue streak catches his attention as it swiftly flies past, causing Paul's avatar to spin around in circles being caught up by the current of passing colors.

What had just happened?

Could this be her?

Or was this all part of the love game on the screen.

He has to find out … scrolling as fast as he can to the left, he chases the flowing tail through the schools of fish surrounding him until at last he finally reaches the rocky cave. She scuttles in and he follows right after.

The scene transforms into a mermaid's treasure trove with rows and shelves of collected trinkets and the like. He notices something on the third shelf to the right. This item is quite familiar to him ...

He goes in for a closer glance…

The screen flashes: "OUT OF TIME!"

And then: "LAST CHANCE!"

Followed by: "To Continue … Please Add a Valid Method of Payment."

"Of course … TANSTAAFL," Paul mumbles audibly to himself. He continues: "Learned it in economics in high school; it's rung true ever since … There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch!”

He whips out his wallet and slaps his card on the desk ready to type in the digits to secure his supposed soul-longing happiness.

Ah, what the hell! Guess I've really got nothing to lose? Besides, what's the worst that could happen?! Is this Fortune guy is legit? All the signs are right.

"SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!"

Great! Sign me up!

And, with that … his fate is sealed and an entire universe of fantasies is now unfurling before his eyes … gates upon gates beholding anything and everything one could ever even begin to imagine. This makes him hopeful of what the future might truly hold and what beauties might lie within as he embarks on his new adventure!

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