Prologue

Prologue

She drove up to the pharmacy and around to the back drive through only to find a line of cars too long to navigate before the 4:30PM cut off time. Irritated she drove past the line and up to the main lot and parked.

“Ok buddy, we have to walk in to get your meds” she said as she took her 21-year-old sons hand as was her practice. Anywhere there are cars navigating it’s just safer, at least until she has checked in with his mood. It was a warm day and she had not bothered to put on a coat, and she had not bothered to toss on a bra either. Her long silver hair was loosely tucked behind her ears and her glasses hung from a strap around her neck. Her 6-foot-tall body was somewhat disguised in an oversized mans shirt. She cringed knowing she had not showered. She had been too caught up in what she was working on to bother. It’s why she had tried to pick up meds earlier from the drive through and they had told her to come back.

As she entered the store the cool air hit her. And they walked back to the pharmacy area. She rolled her eyes as she glanced down the line of 25 people. With only 4 hours of sleep the night before and the busy day of work, standing in line was not her idea of fun.

A grandmother and her late teens granddaughter were in line in front of her. The teen flirting with her granny asked, “Gee grandmom can you buy me these blue blocking glasses to protect my eyes”. Grandma laughed and said “hey, I drank out of the hose as a child, and I turned out ok”. And the tall women with the silver hair could not help but quip back “Oh it all comes out in our kids”. The grandmother started laughing as did a tall and handsome park ranger who was in line in front of them. He cooly assessed the silver haired amazon. She felt his gaze and so she nervously started a group conversation. “This is a heck of a line here today”, “I came through the drive through earlier, coming after the time they told me our meds would be ready, but they weren’t”. Everyone agreed, including a few people even on down the line. The amazon continued “well if they are going to keep us in line, they should have some entertainment for us at least”. The granddaughter popped up with her own quip “did you know this pharmacy has the best liquor prices in town”? “That I did not know”, the Amazon admitted. “Then again, I have only bought booze a time or two and this is one of two places I have bought. Good to know on the prices. Maybe we should go grab a few bottles and start a party in line”. Several people in the line laughed and mentioned finding a blender and ice. The park ranger was openly grinning now.

The grandmother said, “It didn’t used to be this bad, well not in the 20 years I have lived here”. “Where did you move here from”? Inquired the Amazon. “Southern California”, “We moved up when my husband got a transfer to the post office up here”. The Amazons eyes lit up, “My boyfriend is looking to transfer into the local mail service. He’s training right now in Iowa and has been trying to transfer now for 8 months. But so far, no response. Is there a trick to it or someone local he should talk to? “The grandmother said “Well it all goes through the federal job placement website, but you might try talking to Brian over at the Post Office. He knows the full scoop of what is going on”. The Park Ranger

Started talking directly to the Amazon. “I moved here in January of 22 and live up in Fort Dick”. I transferred in using that site. “Where did you move from? “the Amazon asked. “Northern New Mexico”, “Though I am originally from North Georgia”. The Amazon mentioned back “I am from the San Francisco Bay Area, but originally from Philadelphia”. We moved here in March of 22. I was looking for where I wanted to live and looked at real estate online here. And then I looked at the surroundings and knew this is exactly where I wanted to be. After all you can drive in any direction and its gorgeous! “. The park ranger grinned and shook his head in agreement. And the ranger mentioned the park rangers had a hard time recruiting locally. The Amazon mentioned back the best way to get the word out was Facebook and the Crescent City Sweet Deals advertisement list as it had the most followers. Then again, the Amazon is and expert at social media, recruitment, but did not mention her background. Computer game producers and business development professionals are like announcing you are an alien in this small town. So far, she had been maintaining a low profile. The time in line passed quickly on small talk and soon they were at the front of the line.

The Amazon had an uncomfortable feeling. Were they just being friendly or was the ranger actually flirting with her? Good god, that could not be true played in her head. She was unshowered, didn’t have a bra on, and she had to be 15 years at least older than the park ranger who appeared in his early 40s. I am 61 for gosh sakes. She thought to herself, Karl my boyfriend is going to kill me. And then again, she had not seen Karl in person in 3.5 years. Not since before Covid. Karl and moved in with his aging parents. And then he had up and moved to Iowa to change careers, telling her literally the day before he left. Their relationship had been stormy, uncommunicative on his part. And though he contacted her daily usually, his updates in the last few years were what food he had eaten and what his cats were doing. Not exactly the food for passion, interests, or romance. He was 11 years her junior and it had started out as fun.

The park ranger went to get his medications and then returned to the front of the line to stand squarely in front of the Amazon. And he looked her squarely in the eye and said in a sincere voice “It’s been really, really, really nice to meet you”. And her answer was there, he was flirting, and he was interested. She noted she was really attracted to the handsome man who now was being openly emotionally vulnerable to her. But she also was on the fence. She looked at her autistic son. He had kept them both up most of the night and there was no telling what his behavior would be. Karl would kill her if she handed this man her phone number. He had laid down the law years before after the disastrous event with Alan.

So, she stared back at the handsome ranger and said “It’s been really, really, really, really nice meeting you too” in as sincere a voice as she could muster, meeting his gaze. His voice became wistful, and he said “Well, I guess I will see you around town?” And she replied, “I expect so”. And she then jokingly tossed in, or you can always find me on Facebook”. And his tone changed, she thought perhaps he felt insulted.

But at that moment in time, she was a woman with a committed relationship and in her mind the Park Ranger was an interesting flirt who likely would not want her complex life, her older age, her reality.

And in a flash, he was gone.

As she left the pharmacy, she wondered to herself what have I done? I should have invited him for coffee.

At home she made dinner as usual and fed her son and herself. And later Karl called and told her his usual about his dinner, long hours at work. She mentioned the conversation about getting the inside scoop on the local post office from Brian and asked Karl if he wanted her to do that? He answered no, he would do all that himself. She also mentioned that a handsome park ranger flirted with her in line. Karl did not even bother to respond to that. He went on talking about his cats.

Later in the evening, as the Amazon mulled through the events, she worked through her feelings about them. You see the Amazons name is Susan, and Susan suffers from complex post traumatic stress disorder. Its rare that Susan can process emotional content and how she feels about things in real time. Intellectual things, no problem. Her blazing intellect is almost always ready to engage. But feelings and especially feelings on relationships take time. And she realized she felt bereft. I have been unhappy for a long time. I have tried talking about it, describing it, curing it with Karl. But none of those things has worked. And today I had a perfect opportunity to try a new relationship with someone I found very attractive. The thing holding me back was loyalty and timing.

And then it occurred to her. If she was actually breaking up with Karl, who did she really want to talk to and Alans face popped into her head again.

And so, she went and looked him up on Facebook. And low and behold, he had a profile. A few times in the past she had gone to see if Alan was there and what he was up to. He had disappeared for a long time. He had run off and gotten married after their turbulent affair 12 years ago. He tried to contact her before he married. But she had not responded to his message. It seared her with grief and longing. You see Susan has been in love with Alan all of her adult life. She had fallen in love with him at 17 when they first met.

When they met, he was a tall lanky 20-year-old, in oversized striped overalls. Fluffy wavy blond hair curling around his head and an infectious laugh, handsome, charming, witty. And she was 17, gazelle lean and tall as well, with long flowing red brown locks. When they met it was an instant connection. And just a few days later she had found him roving the train tracks not far from the future train station, measuring and shifting rails with a long breaker bar. When she stalked up, she noted he looked a bit like a scarecrow. His oversized overalls just a bit to short for his lanky legs and a bandanna hanging out of the back pocket like a flag. His leather work boots kicked out comically. She challenged him with “what are you doing”. And he grinned back and said “Setting the world straight, Its my job!”. They both laughed. And then he nimbly jumped over the tracks to the other side showing off, so she followed suit. That made him laugh even more and she joined him grinning. And then he put his head in the air and went into a full rendition of Steve Martins “Happy Dance” and she joined him both acting like Snoopy or Steve depending on which generation you care to copy and laughing like loons. And then they shouted “I am just a wild and crazy guy”. And they said it at the same time.

And a whole new appreciation for each other was born. She traces back to that moment in time, to when she fell in love with him. That he could be so silly with wild abandon and carefree and fun.

And from then on, they were like peas in a pod. bumping shoulders, occasionally tickling each other. On rare occasions stealing kisses or caresses. But not going too far. Never asking the other out. And sex only several years later. But back to the present…

And looking at his modern Facebook profile, where he was dressed up like an older Scottish statemen made her laugh. So, she dropped him a short quick note “Hey, how are ya? “(as was their normal hello).

And within 8 minutes he responded with, “are you still online?” and then suddenly Facebook phone call rang her phone, and he was on the phone. And for four hours they caught up with 12 years of news.

Crying, longing, joy, laughter all heartfelt deep and wonderful poured between them.

It was a homecoming. She told him the story of the ranger and that she was breaking up with Karl.

And he asked her point blank “so do you want to date a ranger”? And she told him “He may be young enough to be my child!! But I dunno MAYBE? And then he said, how about seeing me?

And she then confessed “I was not sure you would even talk to me after what happened 12 years ago”.

But when I realized, I was going to break up with Karl, and frankly I probably had little to no chance of finding the ranger again. The reality is I realized what I wanted was you.

And he said “Susan, I love you, I have always loved you. What happened hurt. But I could not be mad at you”. She said back “Alan, you are my North Star. I judged the quality of all of my relationships against what we had. None of them ever held up”. He became choked with emotion.

And she said “well if you are asking me would I choose an unknown park ranger whom I talked to in a line over a chance to be with you my answer is YOU. “He responded “Good answer” his voice had dropped an octave. They both were struggling with emotion.

“I love you Alan” she said. “I love you Susan” he said. And a new chapter in their lives opened.

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