I am my own man!!!
Pressure. That’s the word ringing in my mind. Confusion…and confusion. Am not sure what falling in love means anymore. But I am, it’s loving someone, right? Man-woman, woman-man, right? Men in my age live like they come from a different planet. Or at least the women in their lives make them. Well, we make our lives complicated sometimes, apparently for nothing. I do not see why I have to wear a mask just to impress someone, walk in another man’s shoes just to show how big and smart I am, in search of love and acceptance. It all leads to vanity. There is no freedom in that. I like being my own man. I enjoy being real, myself. I will tell you this is where I come from and this is what I’m going through. I will tell you my age coz even if I hide it, it won’t make me younger nor older. And if you don’t accept me as I am then we have no business holding a conversation. I speak my mind.
A woman (not all) wants you whole, with short and long term goals. She wants you perfect, with a good house and a good background. Woe unto you if you walk in empty pockets or your mother gives you bus fare to town. Woe unto you if you don’t work with budgets or don’t have coffee at some posh restaurant, or walk in elegant suits and smart watches. Well, am sorry, woman. I don’t have it all figured out. I am just an ordinary man living his best and walking with a lot of peace in his mind. I work hard to get what I have, and I don’t have to tell you my dreams for you to figure out whether I am your type or not. I don’t want to be any woman’s type. I want to be a woman’s man!
I don’t know when I’ll ever own a car, nor when I shall own a home. Yes, I want to have a family someday and am working hard to have a decent life. Isn’t it funny that every time you meet someone new, your social status is what sells you? In fact, I think it’s appalling. That I have to paint a picture of a successful person in order to be considered for a relationship is crap! Okay, at least to me. Well, nowadays they think the best men are in church. While I might not dispute that, some people need to know a man is his heart, not how frequent he is seen singing in the choir or sitting on the front seat in a sermon, nor how many times he is seen walking with a Bible.
There is no point of me having to impress a woman just to get her attention, and the men need to know this. Just be yourself. If she doesn’t invest her time to know the man in you, then she’s wasting your time. Really. We don’t have to conform to dating rules and all that shit some experts tell us. We can make ours and still turn out fine. Principles based on values like honesty, truthfulness, passion. But here I am being treated like am some kind of a portfolio, that if I don’t have this and that then I am not fit or if I have it then am the best man alive. I mean, come on!
Money and alcohol make men walk in false confidence. Know the attitude of a man when he is at his peak, then you really find him, because then, you know him. How people behave when everything is going fine really tells who they are. But it is important to also know their other side. Well, people hide a lot of stuff, but time ends the run. Whether it will find you hurt or just in there, at least you will know the truth eventually. That’s why you need to be careful with whom you say you want enter into a relationship with. We are not into investing time to know the people we might be interested in. It’s like all of us have this mathematical criteria of choosing a partner as if they are robots or car models.
When love finds you, just fall into it, damn it! Who’s that perfect man or woman you’re waiting for? Which planet do they come from? You will read the greatest self help books and literature on relationships but if your mind is not yet mature and open, there is nowhere you will ever get to. And please, your age does not tell how reasonable you can think.
Humans are slowly evolving into machines every day. We do not do things with emotion anymore as long as our flesh is satisfied. We live unhappy lives but never want to admit it just because we do not want anyone to know how desperate we are inside. That’s why some folks think drinking their sorrows actually solves their frustrations while in the real sense, they only get to stagger one night and wake up to the full glare of their problems the morning after. You hear Christians and Muslims (or whichever religion you belong to) are holy? What do they seek for in porn sites? Isn’t it satisfaction? Even the pastor’s kid. They will walk in the streets all smiling and turning down the genuine people who really love them and are ready to sacrifice so much for them just because they are not their type or aren’t in their league. It’s no wonder relationships don’t last because their foundations are so weak they could barely hold two hearts together. I am talking about you and me.
How long do we want to go on pretending? It’s not a crime to have preferences, all of us do. But are they realistic? Sometimes people make me think like they are waiting for the world to end so that they could finally fall in love. What the hell!! This city life is so deceptive. The good things don’t have to be the most glittery, but that’s what we go for. I am not advocating for untidiness nor laziness nor any sort of laxity in having a decent relationship or simply a decent life. I just want people to be real. Be real!!! We all want to be happy, but how?
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