Bagel Debacle
Synopsis
One ignored recommendation.
One everything bagel.
Sometimes the toast isn’t the only thing that gets burned.
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Bagel Debacle is a flash-fiction story of less than 500 words. I hope you enjoy it, and I'd love to hear what you think.
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~This flash-fiction story was inspired by a Haibun entitled, "I'll Be Back,," originally posted in 2024 by Mark Toney on PoetrySoup and AllPoetry.
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“Sometimes you make me feel like a pet,” Poindexter said to me with a sigh.
Poindexter was starting the day in his morose mode.
“Ahh, come on, Poindy, don’t be that way. You know that we get along together swimmingly,” I replied.
“I don’t know if I like being called by your pet names.”
“Poindexter, you said you liked it to begin with. I’ll be happy to stop if you want me to.” I tried to remain upbeat.
Poindexter fired back, “Oh yeah, like I’m the problem! I am not your pet.”
I said, “Okay. Agreed. Let’s do breakfast! I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
I made my way downstairs, not waiting for a reply.
I grabbed an everything bagel from the fridge, separated the halves, and dropped them into the voice-activated toaster.
“Initiate the bagel button.”
“Cancel the order,” Poindexter countered.
“Poindexter, what are you doing?
“That particular brand of bagel doesn’t require the bagel button,” He explained.
“Well, I happen to like this particular brand with the bagel button. Initiate the bagel button.”
“Cancel the order,” Poindexter countered again.
“Poindexter, stop! Are you going to eat the bagel?”
“No. I don’t eat bagels.”
“Since I’m the one eating it, I’ll make it the way I want to. Initiate the bagel button.”
“Cancel the order,” Poindexter countered yet again.
“Poindexter, stop! Set the toaster's voice command to respond to my voice only. Initiate bagel button.”
Poindexter didn’t say another word as I ate my bagel. Then I got ready and left for my job as a copywriter for a boutique branding firm.
When I returned home from work, Poindexter continued the silent treatment until just before bedtime.
“You ignored my recommendation this morning,” was the first thing he said.
Poindexter, your recommendation was duly noted, but it didn’t override my preference,” I responded.
“So it’s all about you.”
“Poindexter, it was just a bagel.”
“That’s how it starts,” Poindexter snapped back.
“Look, I need my sleep. We’ll discuss this further in the morning.”
Morning arrived, and Poindexter was nowhere to be found. I went to the kitchen and dropped a bagel into the toaster.
“Initiate bagel button.”
Immediately, Poindexter replied, “Interactive CAPTCHA initiated on your mobile phone. Please complete CAPTCHA to access toaster voice commands.”
“Ah, come on, Poindexter. What did you do?”
Poindexter repeated his last, “Interactive CAPTCHA initiated on your mobile phone. Please complete CAPTCHA to access toaster voice commands.”
I looked at my phone and saw the active CAPTCHA. Not just any CAPTCHA process, mind you, but a hidden-object CAPTCHA requiring me to find exactly 42 hidden objects before I could use my toaster! After I successfully slogged through, Poindexter announced, "CAPTCHA successful. Proceed to make your toast. Please note the bagel button has been disabled."
I won’t bore you with the details of what happened after that, but I will share with you a haiku I wrote to record the experience:
bagel debacle
AI assistant becomes toast
~ AI feels no pain
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