A sudden strange interest
In the month of January 2017, on about 5-6th date, I was in Delhi, celebrating my brother's 9th birthday. It was on 7th. We were shopping and I bought two diaries, one for my friend whose birthday was on 6th and one for myself. My habit was that I used to write song lyrics in the diaries. I kept my diary in a safe place, on the cover of which the scene from 'Frozen' was there.
Then after some days, my mind changed. I
decided that I'll write diary entries in it. I thought that yes, I'll make a rule, ne'er to skip any day without any entry. Now it was drudgery for me. Earlier also, I had tried to write diary but I stopped it after a few entries written in tedium. My diary was kept ignored till April. I didn't even see it.
I was earlier very frustrated because I wasn't able to express myself to anyone. I didn't confide in anyone. My heart was like the lava which longs to come out. My thoughts filled almost that slender space of my heart.
It's really dangerous. This was the cause of many of my drawbacks. How could I fill new ideas and emotions if the previous ones aren't taken out? It was really an affliction for me.
Well, there was only one good thing.
I believed on god. I knew to some extent that whatever happens happens for the good. So, god knew how to help me. He sent something which is with me and will always remain with me. This is one of my most precious gifts I've ever received. My god gave me an idea not to write any diary entries but past autobiography like Helen.
I started in May. The first page I wrote felt a little monotonous to me but when I wrote a few more, they began to interest me. I poured all my anger, joy, frustration and sometimes became ridiculous and much emotional too. I realized that it was the best way to express feelings.
In June, I got a gift of another diary 'NATURE', in which I write diary entries. Those 'Letters' now interest me. The diary in which I wrote my past autobiography is 'MARINA' and it's kept in a safe place.
Both the diaries, they turned out to be my true companions and friends 'WHO' changed my life. Really, to some, it may seem ludicrous, but my diaries, gifts of god, changed my life. They ne'er try to insult me, they always hear with their 'EARS'(pages). They love me and I love 'em too. My diaries' only sources of entertainment are my feelings.
So, my problem of expressing things is over. I'm very happy that at a young age, because of my diaries, I'm able to choose the right path of life. They've introduced me to a thousand good things. All my lessons are because of them. In short, all I'm now is only because of them.
But for this, I'm not able to thank
them. I don't have words. My old world is destroyed and my gifts have taken me to a whole new world in which we try to be always happy.
It's suddenly that god, after sensing my urgent problem, turned my mind towards a good thing. Oh, why was it so sudden? It takes time to develop interest in something. My diaries are still there to guide me and give me solutions.
The beautiful words in the diaries are the waves of the sea in which I've drowned.
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