A man with a pelican on his head is not much of a man, but a pelican with a man on his head is some pelican.
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Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
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The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.
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I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
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A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
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I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
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I'm thinking.
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Growing old is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
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