My Reality of Addiction
To not be in control of my own body and soul
To beat my addiction is my huge goal
Due to my addiction I have lost everything in my life
once a devoted mother and a perfect wife
But worst of all I have lost myself
I do not know who I am today
I feel so lost
so afraid to face reality
I am ashamed of what I have become
I don't deserve the title of being a mom
Now pain and guilt is all I live with
I don't want to wake up as I lay down to sleep
The pain and fear it hurts so deep
I pray to my mom who is no longer hear
She passed away from addiction to beer
please mom help me be free of my drug addiction
Even the methadone I have on perscription
I want to feel free I long to find the real me
The loving mom I was before
To be drug free I wish for nothing more
but 23 years of this existence
age 18 this nightmare began
but I long to get clean
I belive I can
To be the mom my children cry for
as now they are older
they know the score
but the help is not as easy to get
but little goals is what I need to set
I can do this I must be strong
its going to be a road so long
it will be hard I know
and at times I will feel so low
but I sit hear now and I cry so many tears
thinking of the last 23 years
lets just pray
that my addiction will be history one day.
Copyright © Sally Hodgkiss | Year Posted 2017
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